A.A.A.D.D. — AGE ACTIVATED ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER
This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the full garbage cangarbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first. But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my deskdesk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye — they need to be watered. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
tv with remote controlI realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: The car isn’t washed. The bills aren’t paid. There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter. The flowers don’t have enough water. There is still only one check in my checkbook. I can’t find the remote. I can’t find my glasses.eye glasses I don’t remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today. I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll computercheck my e-mail. Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don’t remember to whom it has been sent. Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming.
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.